I’ve never liked lawyers.  For me, they were always con artists who overly complicated the legal system so that they could take money away from innocent people.  The law should be so clear that ordinary people can represent themselves in court.  But courts have been horrendous substitutes for dueling as it was classically conducted in America.  When we say these days, “See you in court,” it’s a poor substitute for “pistols at dawn.”  But we wanted to consider ourselves a civilized society and that we were a nation of laws, not lawlessness.  So, we have replaced those classic gun duels with a bunch of pinheaded fools who use the legal system to conduct justice in unsatisfying ways, enriching themselves in the process.  I would instead just shoot the bad guys.  It would be more honorable, and cheaper.  But saying all that, I have been to court a lot more than I’ve been in shootouts with people, so I know the lawyer type extremely well.  And I’ve hated them to such an extent that I have represented myself in court on more than one occasion and done just fine.  And when I think of these things I have a friend who once had so much legal trouble that he had a bedroom in his house filled with unpaid bills and legal notices that was over one foot deep from wall to wall.  He used to let his kid swim in that room like it was the ball pit at Chucky Cheeses and she would bury herself under them when playing hide and seek, and nobody would find her.  He did end up going to jail eventually for disputes with an ex-girlfriend that he couldn’t outsmart the lawyers in that case because he was technically in the wrong.  But on the many cases worth many, many, many millions of dollars in judgments against him, there wasn’t a lawyer in Ohio or Kentucky who could move him off a mountain of superior intellectual positioning. 

Most lawyers are pretty dumb.  They get into the legal profession because they never stand up to their parents and get used to being told what to do early in life.  When we look at these court cases against Trump and see how dumb Fani Willis and Letitia James are, people are stunned that these are people who have passed a Bar exam.  In my experience, these are common people in the legal profession.  It’s the same scam as the snake oil salesman selling whiskey to cure colds and snake bites in the same bottle.  Lawyers have been propped up to be considered standard bearers of righteous knowledge.  But the truth is they are mostly pretty dumb.  As I say all that, I can think of more than twenty I know whom I wouldn’t pay five cents for.  My first reaction is always to represent myself, and I have argued detailed legal matters with multiple people of high intellect as recently as yesterday.  I think anybody with average reading comprehension should be able to represent themselves better and more appropriately than any lawyer.  Lawyers get into the profession because they are compliant people who do what their parents want them to.   Then, as adults, they have the same weakness: they do what political parties tell them to, what judges ask them to, and what corrupt elements instruct them to.  In the case of Lakota schools, if you peel back the orange, the root cause of so much corruption comes down to lawyers running the school and taking their orders from the local teacher’s union.  I have found that most lawyers lean to the political left.  And those who do call themselves Republicans tend to be RINOs because they believe in big institutions to hide the ruse of their con game.  They make their money because of big government, not by freeing people from it. 

I’m a person who reads from the law every single day, and it starts with the Ohio Constitution.  For fun, I read The Federalist Papers and The Anti-Federalist Papers, and I love them.  There are legal minds in those pages who are magnificently brilliant.  Those are not the modern lawyers talking, and out of many thousands of people that I know, a lot of them legal types, we don’t produce people like those Founding Fathers today.  So when I say I would rather have a duel in the street with someone I disagree with, I mean it in that context.  We were a better society when people settled their differences directly and quickly.   These legal courtroom battles with third-party arbiters have been ridiculously dumb, significantly weakening our nation.  Lawyers are lazy, weak, and not able to properly represent strong, individualized Americans in the concept of a free people.  I’ve been on the stand interviewed by lawyers for testimony many times and given a lot of depositions, and in many cases, the lawyers were the best available at the time, and I’ve never been impressed with any of their intellects.  When dealing with them I often think of my friend who ran them in circles for years in a game of cat and mouse, including big federal cases, and they were too dumb to touch him.  He easily beat them in court every time because they were too stupid to argue with him.  With that guy, what ended up bringing him down was the same as with most men: a woman.  Not the law. 

Lawyers have made our system of justice far worse.  The only people who benefit from it are the legal people.  The people who get drug into court to be represented by lawyers end up losing everything while the same lawyers who battle it out in court end up going to lunch together after the case.  It’s not skin off their back what happens to their clients.  The judges and lawyers are often golf buddies, and the client pays for the corrupt access their lawyer has to judges.  That is not how our legal system was supposed to be and as I say all the time, it would be better and more righteous if we just shot the bad guys instead of making all these lawyers rich off the pursuit of justice that never comes.  We have too many lawyers chasing too few needs, so they often end up in politics looking to write laws or broker deals that put money in their pocket for their investment in the law practice.  So when we talk about the corruption in our political system, it becomes obvious that the primary cause is that it is filled with too many lawyers who find private practice too hard to manage, so politics becomes a good destination for them, and they hardly bring ethical behavior to our representative government.  Just as in the Lakota case in my neighborhood, it all comes down to keeping dumb people on the school board to make it easy for the lawyers to throw money at the leftist teacher’s union because they are too lazy to argue on behalf of justice.  And what’s more important to them is a nice dinner at a wine-tasting ceremony than strengthening our republic with legal wisdom.  No, most lawyers are just like Fani Willis and Letitia James.  Fortunately, many people who don’t deal with lawyers have had the illusion of what kind of people are in the legal world ripped away from them on national television.  And they are disappointed with what they see.  But it’s indeed no surprise to me.  We should drop the courtrooms and get back to dueling.  We would be a far better society.

Rich Hoffman

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