Fighting Bullies: At Thanksgiving Dinner its important to understand why you believe what you do

It’s that time of year where families get together for the big Thanksgiving dinner and of course navigating the political debates can always be a challenge so before doing so, its important to understand why you believe what you do, and what it is that you do believe as opposed to the raw talking points that come off Facebook or Fox News. My sister recently was frustrated with me when we were talking about busing at Lakota schools, where she just rationalized that I hate everyone. These are the types of results that often can come out of family get-togethers so before getting frustrated with the outcomes you need to know why you are conservative and to what degree those values are more important often than whether or not you leave the table of a family gathering with your relationships intact. I would say that its better to keep your values supported rather than to surrender them just to get along. However, there isn’t any use in having a fight that won’t go anywhere either. Usually at these kinds of things I sit quietly and just eat the food and offer any little contemporary dialogue that goes meaninglessly into the thoughts of oblivion. Family is important but surrendering who you are to have them shouldn’t be a requirement.

For me its never about conservative versus liberal, or Republicans opposed to Democrats, or Fox News against CNN. Being cast into the forge of political ideology created by the media makes things worse not better and the real reasons we believe what we do is often far more complicated, and a social order does not have the resources to deal with the true intellectual impact. With that said, my thoughts about most things are that I don’t like bullies and I hate even worse being type cast by any social order that seeks to separate our individual natures into categories that make it easier for them to bully any of us into forms of control that are only good for collective consciousness toward the Vico Cycle order of things, the vicious cycle that has followed all human lives since the beginning of time, theocracy, aristocracy, democracy then anarchy. Since day one of my birth to the present I have always hated bullies of any kind and have fought them at every chance. I have never accepted that yielding to a bully in any way is something I was ever willing to do, and that is the root of my political beliefs, and likely if you are reading this, you share that sentiment.

Bullying happens most of the time through peer groups, or friendships that occur early in our lives from people we’d like to trust such as, “I’ll be your friend if this….” Or “if you dress this way you can be in this group.” As I’m thinking of this, school days where we learn these behaviors come to mind. The athlete class typically dressed well on the Fridays of the big game with some cross-town rival which associated them as school aristocrats out doing important work within that culture. Kids of a lower class would then follow with their own versions of that reality down to the kids who start smoking and dressing grungy early in their life. Bullying would then herd most of the kids in school to seek the protection of one of those peer groups to begin associating themselves with something bigger. This is the beginning of creation of some variation of a liberal and it is forged out of bullying.

That is why most of us enter our adult lives bullied by a boss at work, or bullied by a school system over busing, or a teacher’s union. Or, an FBI that sought to tamper with the election of President of the United States and if you didn’t like it, then someone like Roger Stone would be arrested in the middle of the night and thrown into jail. Or Julian Assange as the founder of Wikileaks would stand up to the bullies of the media and political orders around the world and be made an example of so that others wouldn’t dare follow. When you start to think of things in this way and while you may be a Republican or a Democrat, it makes a lot more sense. For many, they only dared run to the Republican Party because they saw it as a safe place where bullies couldn’t get them, and maybe they’d get a chance to bully back for a change those who have been pushing them around most of their life. Most of the forces of our concern are the result of some bully in our lives. It could even be a parent who didn’t like the person you married, or a neighbor who doesn’t like the car you park outside your house that embarrasses them. Most of us feel we have the right to bully or be bullied depending on the forces at play and that leads to anxiety which usually gradually destroys us throughout our lives.

Speaking personally, my love of Star Wars can be traced back through a lot of blood. That film series which most of us agree is fun and entertaining is all about anti bullying. When I felt the bullies in my school trying to force me into some peer group I didn’t want to be in, I used to intentionally wear a Star Wars shirt to school to provoke a fight, which happened constantly. I remember one fight where I punched a kid into the back of the head sending him right into the principal’s office. It was vicious and bloody, but it was the true essence of the public-school experience. Yeah, I got into a lot of trouble over that and many other circumstances. And yes, people have lost their lives in these fights. But it was always worth fighting back against bullies. In the end, after going to court dozens and dozens of times and paying many thousands and thousands of dollars in court fees, attorneys, and damages, I am happy to say I have never accepted any results from a bully and I have Star Wars to thank for that because as a young person it worked for me in solving some of these complicated social issues. Star Wars is all about standing up to bullies and those who have caved into those pressures over their lives naturally are embarrassed by their efforts and will make fun of those who don’t want to follow that path in their own lives. When I talk about Star Wars as a break from these daily commentaries, its for this reason, to help people have some foundation in their lives to free their minds from the results of the bullies trying to impose on them.

That is why you should not worry about Thanksgiving dinner dear reader, and that is likely why you are a conservative to begin with, and why you like President Trump. You have learned to fight back against the bullies, even within your own families. It’s not necessary to rub their face in political ideology, or even to physically fight them. Bullies usually want something from you, so you don’t have to give it to them. That is your choice and the fight isn’t so much in changing minds, its in holding your ground. That should always be your focus. If they attack, that’s their problem. I will say from experience, vast amounts of it, that they won’t be ready for you to defend yourself, and that’s all that’s required. Don’t let them rationalize you into just having a political ideology or in enjoying some pop culture element that isn’t conducive to surrender toward bullying, just hold your ground and let come what may. Its not their approval after all that’s important, its whether or not you leave the dinner table intact as your own person, and all the things you were meant to be, as an individual.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Rich Hoffman