‘Cloud Atlas’ Possibly the worst movie ever made: Director Larry Wachowski is now a woman named Lana

Yikes, I watched recently what may be the worst movie I have ever seen—which is very embarrassing for the movie.  I mean, Jesus Christ—it was absolutely terrible.  Diabolically ridiculous, lampoonist, flawed, disjointed—it was a wrecked concoction of poor philosophy, disastrously stupid politics, and a sheer waste of the three hours I spent watching it.  Tragically, I hoped it would be good, Tom Hanks was in it, Halle Berry was as well, the Wachowski family was involved who did films like the Matrix and Speed Racer—so even though I thought I would dislike the politics—which were noticeably progressive—I hoped the movie would have its moments.  It didn’t.  It was just terrible and the only reason I am reviewing it is so that I can show readers here that not every movie review is good.  Some people have accused me of working for Warner Brothers because of my glowing reviews of the Batman films, and Eastwood projects—but this—this Cloud Atlas—it was just wretched.  It was like looking at something a dog puked up after eating feces in the yard mixed with freshly cut grass and garbage out of the hamper.  It is unbelievable that anybody ever gave a green light for that movie because if that is what people in Hollywood think is a good movie, we are in big trouble.

I gave the film a chance because Roger Ebert loved it—he said he thought it was one of the most ambitious films ever made and was a complicated riddle that deserved multiple viewings.  And parts of it were very ambitious, the budget was large, the visionary attempt was epic, and it had stars.  Susan Sarandon’s inclusion almost made me not even watch it because of her active progressivism—but I recorded it on my DVR in March and finally got around to watching it in June out of obligation really.   I felt because of what Ebert said that the film deserved attention, but I knew it was a progressive film—so I treated it like a trip to the dentist—something you don’t really enjoy, but is needed from time to time for basic maintenance.  My conclusion was that Roger Ebert lost his mind.  Cloud Atlas was that terrible.

The foundation of Cloud Atlas is deeply flawed making all the interesting interconnected storylines worthless.  The film is about gay love, slavery, feminism, and is clearly against big oil.  It is also about the worthless nature of individual lives and only concerned about how they fit into the larger tapestry of existence.    Considering Ebert died shortly after Cloud Atlas I’ll give him a pass—maybe the idea of resurrection through a future life was something appealing to him in those last moments and he saw in the Cloud Atlas insanity a ray of hope for himself.  The film was released around the same time that Atlas Shrugged Part II hit theaters and I remember well having to defend that film from people who loved Cloud Atlas.  So I made a point to see the film at the first available moment which is why I recorded it.  Being an open supporter of the filmmakers producing the Atlas Shrugged films, I wanted to understand how the other side could make such comparisons, and what I learned was that Cloud Atlas is the exact opposite philosophy of Atlas Shrugged.  The two couldn’t be further apart in values—they have nothing in common other than the word “Atlas” in their titles.

And before anybody says that I didn’t understand the film………………….please, don’t waste the time.  I understood all the metaphors in the film and I get the interaction of the characters and the various time periods.  But to what point—so that the sick guy on the ship trying to get home to his wife who was really the future goddess of civilization could tell her bigoted father that she was running off with her husband?  That was the closing scene and the climax of the picture??????????????????????????????  No, there was another climax, the one with Tom Hanks and Halle Berry married and living happily on another planet well into the future telling the story of Cloud Atlas to his grandchildren who wanted to look up at the stars and know which one was earth.  Really????????????????????  I wasted three hours to come to that stupid revelation?  You can refund money but you can’t refund time—and I am resentful that I lost three hours of my life to Cloud Atlas.

imageHowever, one thing that I did learn is that everything I say about progressives is absolutely 100% correct.  Their world vision was on full display in Cloud Atlas and philosophically, they are like children right out of the womb—yet they believe they are at the height of human knowledge.  Cloud Atlas was presented as an exclamation point and epic triumph toward progressive thought.  Tom Hanks is a smart guy and a great actor—so he consciously took on multiple roles in the film.  It was obviously for him a labor of love—he believed in the project intensely—and that concerns me greatly for his very mental health.  There was nothing profound about Cloud Atlas.  It was like watching the news with a progressive slant.  It was ridiculously simple and anti-climatic.  I mean crap…………..it was just terrible.

I understand that I hate progressive and liberal philosophy.  Those idiots can call me a right-winger all they want—because if Cloud Atlas is what they think merits thought—they are thoughtless.  They do not even have the ability to make a compelling argument if that is the best they can do.  Cloud Atlas is the culmination of that kind of crappy Hollywood politics where screenplays are written by boot lickers at parties where drugs flow freely and everyone thinks they are brilliant from the vantage point of the little flat of land nudged up between the Pacific Ocean and the Nevada desert mountains.  The Wachowski family is not the second coming.  They likely ripped off the concept of the Matrix from another writer and have struggled to make a good film since—even though studios have thrown massive budgets at them.  Larry Wachowski wrecked his life in the Hollywood Dungeon when he started hanging around with Iisa Strix and Buck Angel the transsexual known as “The Dude With a Pussy.”  Worse yet, one of the directors of Cloud Atlas was Lana—who used to be Larry after he went through a sex change operation—so he is one of those LGBT people and that wrecked identity became Cloud Atlas.

It’s not that the many incidences in Cloud Atlas where male characters play females, and females play males was artistically wrong—it was just too simple.  Anyone who bases their identity purely on sexual function is a lost cause—and in essence, this is what was going on in Cloud Atlas.  The premise of the characters is from the vantage point of the kind of person who desires to engage in bondage in the Dungeon which is a huge part of that transsexual community in Los Angeles.  But for the rest of the nation—it’s considered stupid.  So while Cloud Atlas had a 10 minute standing ovation at Sundance and progressives raved about the film—it is only hard-core progressives who enjoyed it.  For everyone else—it is ridiculously simple—and tragically limited in its philosophical outlook.  What makes a person is not the holes they have in their bodies which allow for sexual penetration—it is the content of their minds—and in Cloud Atlas, the minds are disasters who made a film seething with liberal talking points ridiculously displayed as a work of art that belong nowhere else but in a litter box.

Ironically, I didn’t even know that Larry had turned himself into Lana before I watched Cloud Atlas.  I discovered that trying to figure out why the movie was so fu**ed up.  I was trying to understand how and why Warner Brothers distributed the film and discover who put up the money for the project and learn what on earth the directors were thinking.  That’s when I learned that Larry never recovered from his divorce after being caught with the dominatrix Strix in the Dungeon—and had poured way too much mental energy into becoming a woman.  He then directed a film about the quality of a soul regardless of gender roles over a long-span of time to justify his/her terrible decisions in life.


Do yourself a favor———never watch Cloud Atlas.  Something’s are better left alone—and that movie is one of them.image

Rich Hoffman



16 thoughts on “‘Cloud Atlas’ Possibly the worst movie ever made: Director Larry Wachowski is now a woman named Lana

  1. Cloud Atlas is Fantastic! Watch it three times and take notes!
    Very important film.
    If people “got it” they might stop all the stupid fighting.
    I can barely wait for the Wachowskis Jupiter Rising July 18th.


      1. Great minds discuss ideas.
        Mediocre minds discuss events.
        Small minds discuss people.

        I don’t care about the flaws of the messenger or get distracted by them. This is why I see the truth right away.
        Would you believe that people only credit 8% of what people say to “what they actually say!”
        92% is clothing, appearance, demeanor, race, accent, pace of speaking etc.
        People give almost no credence to what anyone actually says. I was absolutely stunned to learn this is how things actually work. It answered a lot of questions I had as to why the world is so illogical. If people are making decisions based on 92% non information and 8% information there is zero chance they will come to the correct conclusion. So human life on Earth is completely controlled by those who know this and act accordingly. So Politicians and other con men can say absolutely anything and I do mean anything so long as they make sure the 92% is kosher (everything that matters). You all confuse the messenger with the message. God works in mysterious ways. I listen to everyone. Any charachter in this hologram can deliver a message from the programmer at any time! The messenger jumps from charachter to charachter, body to body. Perhaps a new messenger jumped into “Larry’s” body. Perhaps THE writer needed to send down a new director to convey the latest message and needed Larry’s position in Hollywood to deliver the message.
        The fact that THE message always and I mean always gets delivered proves the messenger is just a conduit for someone much greater.
        That’s one of the main points of the film. No matter what charachter in what age you are playing “Who are You?”. We each are just playing charachters in this hologram and then again in commerce. But who are we really?
        This film is fantastic and gets to the most important question of all. Who are we? Why are we here?
        The whole point of all the wild charachters was to demonstrate and contrast that beneath the diverse charachters lie the same joined souls both in the movie and in our lives.
        By the way, who are the Prescients?
        Have you ever met one?
        Watch the film again and again until you get the message. The whole point of the film is to teach you to look past the superficial. To look and listen for the 8% (the message) and if necessary to torture yourself to set aside your prejudices and hear the messenger.

        Cloud Atlas is a brilliant fim way beyond the spiritual enlightenment level of most souls sentenced to Earth.
        It is nothing short of divinely inspired. Go with an open mind, or better yet buy the film and watch it every two weeks until you are totally smiling and laughing at your former “self”. This film is the death of the ego and quite possibly the beginning of intelligent life on Earth.
        Cloud Atlas, a film beyond the reach of most of Earth’s inhabitants.
        Galactic film of the year!

        Buy a copy while you can, sure to be a collectors item especially after Jupiter Rising tears apart the ruling class on Earth.
        Listen, a message is coming, pay no attention to the messenger, listen.


      2. Just when I thought I heard all the dumb shit, you come with this. Please sir for everyone’s sake, go read a book.


  2. This is the worst attempt at film I’ve ever attempted to watch. I managed 35 minutes before I turned off Netflix to Google, “Cloud Atlas is stupid” and found myself here.


    1. I did exactly this but actually sat through the whole thing on Netflix on my phone, some of it while on the toilet which felt appropriate considering the amount of shit I was taking in, it probably needed to come out.
      Just utter garbage and Jupiter ascending!!! Even worse. Not sure if the directors gender/sexuality has much to do with it though. Still, terrible film and anyone who thinks this is in someway profound is likely a moron


  3. netflix was foisting this flick on me and i decided to give it a whirl

    noticed the lana and laura wachowski and it raised a red flag or a “strike one” before i even started it

    however, could not even make it out of the opening monologue with tom hanks and the campfire- couldnt understand a word he said and all my senses told me to abandon ship

    naturally, i did a google search on “cloud atlas overrated” and the fairly high metacritic, rotten tomatoes, and 4/4 ebert scores confirmed i made the correct decision (sidebar- another recent nertflix i saw which was actually entertaining was one where owen wilson and his family had to escape some southeast asian country after a coup- of course the reviews for that were awful since the plot probably causes cognitive dissonance in the proggie mind)

    luckily your blog came was a top hit and you seem to have done all the dirty work for us

    thanks for taking one for the team


  4. Couldn’t agree more, I couldn’t even finish the film as it made my eyes bleed. This is the type of thing people refer to with phrases like tries to hard to be liked and a heaping mess. I think the most disturbing part of the film and narrative was the self indulgence of every souls importance. People that think this way haven’t really tried to understand the past history and how it applies. The movie is every 16 year old feminist dream. I think the narrative and film is just a bigger symbol of the backwards understand young Americans have of the world.


  5. Hello overmanwarrior,
    After watching Cloud Atlas for the second time in my short life, I read your article in a feeble attempt to understand why anyone wouldn’t like the movie- I still don’t see why. You see, most people I’ve recommended Cloud Atlas to have politely reported back that they did not in fact enjoy it at all, and most didn’t even finish it.

    The first time I watched the movie, I was about 12 years old. I lived in a small town in Guanajuato, Mexico, and one of my favorite things to do as a child was to rent movies from the local Blockbusters. One day I brought the movie home, and with much excitement played it on the tiny, fuzzy old television screen we’d inherited from the house’s last owner. Now, at that time I had no idea who the actors or directors were- the distraction of reputation did not take away from the movie at all. And as a kid, it fascinated me so terribly much. I became utterly and obsessively in love with the creativity of the stories and the idea that “our lives are not our own.”

    Now that I’ve watched it again 8 years later I do not know what I am trying to prove my defending it on some random guy’s blog. But if I can convince anyone, anyone at all, to appreciate it, I surely will try. You see, the movie is not about the individuals or the importance of the individuals – it is in fact quite the opposite. The true message of the movie is that time is merely an illusion, and the forces of the earth (love, hatred, betrayal, fear, courage, etc.) are bound together in an endless story that is not in fact chronological as wee see it, but rather happening at the same time in different realities. The idea is that the story is the same everywhere, and the “hero’s journey” will repeat in cycles again and again in an eternal circle. The oppressed will not stay oppressed forever, and the battle between good and evil repeats over and over with the same crimes and acts of kindness shaping both the past and the future altogether.

    Hopefully none of my words seem too pretentious, and I hope someone reads this and watches the movie and understands that to be good or bad is to overcome the past and change the future in many ways.

    Have a wonderful day!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.