The World Cannot Play American Football: Why rugby, soccer, and speed skating are inferior

As a continuation on yesterday’s article about the divorce of America from Europe it is time that we had a heart to heart realization as confirmed by the Dutch speed skating coach from the Sochi Olympics.  Jillert Anema said he wasn’t surprised the Americans were doing so poorly in speed skating in Sochi because The United States doesn’t support the sport the way it should be supported.  He thinks we don’t support speed skating because we’re too busy watching stupid American football and that we are wasting a lot of athletic talent on a sport that is meant to kill each other.  Anema confirms what I said previously, that the rest of the world does not understand American football because they do not understand the nature of capitalism.  American football is a game of capitalism as European soccer and rugby are tribal games of domination and socialism.  The premier reason that the rest of the world cannot compete with The United States in American football to the extent that they cannot even put a team on the field, is because they cannot grasp the concept of capitalism for which to train and play the game.   Americans do think they are right, because they are, and they are better than the European, because they are………….because in America they are free and unconquered and a touchdown is symbolic of industrial success and achievement which prompts cheers from a ruckus crowd.

When I was a kid I played soccer. Later in life I realized I would have enjoyed football much better.  At the time everyone told me that soccer was the game of the future and that football was on the way out. That was early in 1980.  What I didn’t know at the time was that there was a desire by Europe to lead the world toward global socialism through The United Nations and that they desired to advocate a game that the entire world could play together which represented the economic and political structure of their design.  They desired at the time to turn The United States away from American style football and onto European style football known as soccer.

I was so aggressive as a fullback in soccer that my teammates nicknamed me the “animal” because I often head-butted offensive players intentionally drawing yellow cards to prevent the other teams offense from getting set-up down the field.  I learned very early that the best way to have a great defense in soccer was to pull our full backs up far away from our defended goal preventing the other team’s forwards from getting too close, because the other team’s offense was not allowed to begin a run at the goal by being behind the other team’s defense.  This kept their offense from getting too close to our goalie.  If our offense kept the ball on the enemy’s side of the field I could pull up our defense to leave a tremendous gulf between our line and the goal which the offense couldn’t exploit because of the rules.  This is how soccer is a socialist game because forwards were regulated to staying in front of a defense.  If they did get behind me they’d be called off-sides, so when a well placed ball was punched down the field toward the offensive player, and they would receive it a few steps in front of me, a well placed head-butt would plant them into the ground and make them think twice about doing it again.

By the time I got to high school I was so disenfranchised with the education system that I didn’t want to engage in any battle that the school would benefit from.  I hated the coaches and most of the members of the team, so I stayed away even though it was a game I was naturally inclined to.  Once I got away from my school days I found I enjoyed the game increasingly over the years and found it to be unique to America in many ways that are positive.  In football the receiver can get behind the defensive backs if they are faster.  The only off-sides there is goes against the defense.  They cannot jump across the line until the offense led by the quarterback starts their play.  This is the essence of the difference between soccer and football.  In soccer off-sides favors the defense, in American football it favors the offense.  In America the offense metaphorically speaking is of capitalism, industry, banking, invention, the defense is regulation, government, and political resistance.  The intention is to beat those elements to score a goal.  That is why Americans don’t typically cheer in football until yards are gained or a score is obtained.  In soccer they cheer collectively during the entire match.  In football it is typically when an achievement is obtained—this is a big difference.

I have been a Tampa Bay Buccaneer fan most of my adult life.  I fly flags on game day and fire cannons from my porch when they score.  I love the hard hits, I love the theater, and I love how it is specifically American.  The rest of the world cannot play American Football.  Rugby is a pretty close adaption and the players are tough in that they don’t use padding, but the concept of the game is still a version of Europe’s addiction to collectivism instead of an individual quarterback standing behind a battle line and delivering the ball down the field to ultimately score.   In American football the quarterback is the CEO of an offense.  He is a celebrated hero from Atlas Shrugged in every circumstance and his job is to rally his team to victory as an “individual.”  In rugby the closest thing they have is a “fly-half position.”  So there is no coordinated effort to get the ball down the field to score a goal—but like soccer it is a kind of chaos where the ball bounces back and forth between offense and defense with no plan or formation on how to execute a task.  Soccer and rugby are European games that reflect their cultures, and they cannot grasp the ideal of a Football playbook where offensive and defensive schemes drive the ball down the field toward the promised land of scoring.

Europe cannot put a team on the field that can even remotely compete with an American team because Europe and the rest of the world cannot grasp capitalism.  The differences are pure and simple.  Who gives a rat’s ass about speed skating around a frozen lake when you can take off the head of an enemy player on the field of capitalism and are given points for ramming the ball down the throat of a defense to gain victory?  In soccer and rugby a score just so happens almost by random chance, just like their stupid economic system—which is why the score is often 1 to 0 or 2 to 3 after over an hour of game play.  In football you get 6 points plus a field goal attempt for scoring a touchdown.  In soccer you get one stupid point.  In America when a business hits it big, people often get rich.  They get more than a silly point; they get SIX points just for getting across 100 yards of defense.  Football is their game, it is the hopes and dreams of every American played out on the battlefield of capitalism.  Soccer and rugby are games of socialism, collectivism, and way too many rules reflective of their societies.  The difference between Europe and America is clearly evident in their games.

Needless to say soccer did not become a hit in America.  I don’t even know where the nearest professional team is, so my teachers lied to me when they said that soccer would suppress American football in the future.  They hoped that it would because deep down inside they recognized the differences which are clearly ideological.  I would love to see London play the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, or socialist bitches from Paris.  I’d like to see France find 11 men in the entire country who could meet the Tampa Bay Bucs in Raymond James Stadium—I bet they couldn’t do it.  Let the speed skaters of the Dutch even think about putting a football team on the field against even American high school players.  They would be destroyed.  There wouldn’t even be remote competition, because the people from those places are so intellectually ruined because of their economic commitment to socialism that they can’t even comprehend the role of a quarterback, let alone train a player to perform the task.  This is also why they fail economically, because they do not understand what makes industry work, what makes money, and how products are even created.  They randomly sometimes get lucky and score a point, but often you have to wait an entire game to see a score—or in the case of Europe, an entire decade.

To Jillert Anema, let’s see you even come close to assembling a team that could play American football.  America can at least put speed skaters in an arena with the Dutch but there is a reason nobody in the world can compete with American in football…………………….it’s because they can’t.  Just like the battle between socialism and capitalism.  It is that simple.

How about challenging the rest of the world to a little wager?  Here is the contact page to the United Nations.  Send this article to them and let’s see if they have an answer to it.  Let’s see if they can pull all of the best players from around the world from soccer, rugby, speed skating—whatever, and see if they can even play against one American professional football team.  I bet they can’t.

Go ahead, send them a note:

Better yet contact every country that is in membership at The United Nations from that same link.  Send them a request as well and let’s see if all of them put together could build a football team……………American style.

(Shhhhhhh, they can’t.)  I offer the videos on this article as testimony.  Prove me wrong……………anybody in the entire world.  

There are attempts in Europe to be like America.  There are teams trying to learn the role of a “quarterback” and play the American game.  They can all be found at this link.  Building a proper team should start with them.  But I bet all of them together would fall short of an American professional team.  Because the basic concept of the game eludes Europeans.



Rich Hoffman


5 thoughts on “The World Cannot Play American Football: Why rugby, soccer, and speed skating are inferior

  1. Hmmm… I have a friend originally from South Africa who understands both rugby and football.
    His perspective: rugby is both a tougher and safer game… American football would do well to take on some of rugby’s attributes.

    Among things that surprised me:
    * Rugby players are in far better shape, so fewer injuries (why: no timeouts, basically no game stoppage)
    * Rugby is safer because of two things:
    a) They do NOT use safety equipment so people realize they need to be more careful about injuries
    b) If you commit a personal foul, the penalty is HUGE. You are out of the game and you cannot be replaced. The team must continue one man short.

    To me those are very interesting distinctives!


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